Freedom.

I’ve always gone it alone,
It’s just easier that way,
And safer because people
Had always betrayed.
I was tired of being weak,
Of the lies and abuse,
I couldn’t stand up for myself
And people put that to use.
So with stone cold walls
I surrounded my heart,
If no one could get in
They couldn’t tear me apart.
I was constantly running,
Never stayed in one place,
Had to get somewhere new
And old memories erase.
Couldn’t risk getting attached,
I’d been hurt so much before,
After too many breaks,
The heart can’t take any more.

But I’d built myself a prison,
Locked myself in a cage,
With walls of self-pity,
Arrogance, and rage.
I was drowning in pain,
Under wave after wave,
The water kept rising,
It made me its slave.
I couldn’t get out
So I turned inward instead,
I destroyed myself
To stop the agony in my head.
I ran away to the streets,
Shot dope to forget,
But the misery now
Was the worst I’d felt yet.
I tore myself apart,
The only way I could cope,
I hurled myself gladly
Down that slippery slope.
I was totally alone,
No one else caused me pain,
I’d reached my goal,
And I was going insane.
Still locked in my prison,
I thought I was free,
But the worst kind of cage
Is the one you can’t see.

But God opened my eyes,
Sprung the lock on my cell,
Reached down and grabbed me
From the dark depths of Hell.
A train off its tracks
Is free in a way,
But can’t go anywhere,
In one place it stays.
I realized true freedom
Is not running away,
From God, from karma,
And just making my own way.
True freedom is found
When I stop fighting control,
And follow my gut,
Body, mind, and soul.
No one else can take
Away all my pain,
No one else can hurt me
Or make me truly happy again.
External factors
No longer control things,
My peace and my strength
Come from just being.